Let’s Have a National Forgiveness Day

I have an idea. All those lefty heavyweights that have worn blackface in their foolish youth. Let’s forgive them their trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us.

I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that modern woke America believes in vengeance. Vengeance against those eeevil southern slaveholder generals. Vengeance for career black criminals snuffed out by police. Vengeance for women sexually harassed a generation ago in college or high school by today’s headline conservatives.

But vengeance is primitive. It is what humans did when land, territory, was life and death, when a certain Gerald O’Hara said in a movie that cannot be mentioned, “Land. It’s the only thing that lasts.” Vengeance is what humans believed in before the advent of health-science bureaucrats.

Yeah. Reparations is vengeance. And not even against the eeevil slaveowners, but vengeance against people who were peasants in Europe, starving in the potato famine, when America last had slaves.

So, on the week after Juneteeth, the day in 1865 when a Union general proclaimed the freedom of the slaves in Texas, I propose a National Forgiveness Day.

Isn’t it about time we forgave the South for slavery and for Jim Crow? I mean, how much longer are we going to damn the South forever...

To bottomless perdition; there to dwell.
In adamantine chains and penal fire,
Who durst defy the Wokipotent to arms.

With the ruins of all their statues to keep them company?

If you ask me, there is a great need for forgiveness, for many things.

I think it is time to forgive President Wilson for helping impose a Carthaginian peace on Germany in 1919.

I think it is time to forgive FDR for completely flubbing the Great Depression and keeping Americans destitute for the first two terms of his presidency.

I think it is time to forgive Dodd and Frank for setting the U.S. up for the Great Recession with their liar loans and 100 percent mortgages.

I think it is time to forgive liberals for creating systemic racism to enslave blacks in a liberal plantation after 1965.

I think it is time to forgive the Germans for going stark raving mad in 1933.

I think it is time for us deplorables to forgive liberals for oppressing and deploring us for the last 70-odd years.

I think it is time for Jews to forgive the Germans for the Holocaust. Hmm.

I think it is time to forgive Andrew Cuomo for sending NY WuFlu patients to nursing homes to kill the elderly.

I think it is time to forgive the social-moralizing liberal ladies for the hypocrisy of their “Kindness is Everything” yard signs.

I personally want to forgive Simone de Beauvoir for “Chapter XXV: The Independent Woman” in The Second Sex. Silly girl: there is no such thing as an “independent woman.”

And I hereby forgive Nikole “1619 Project” Hannah-Jones for being a silly superficial woman.

You can add your suggestion in the comments.

Now I have a deep educational and philosophical reason for advancing this preposterous notion of National Forgiveness Day. It’s because I want to demonstrate, as far as logic and reason are able, that our glorious national politics, especially during this historic Wokey Reign of Cancel, is about everything except forgiveness.

Indeed, I propose as part of a new general theory of the meaning of life, the universe and everything, that politics is always and everywhere about everything except forgiveness. Because if anyone ever had half a notion to forgive others for their beastliness then we wouldn’t really need politics, except for a National Sharing Day to beat up on cops.

I think that the whole point of cities and police and law courts is to put the vengeance culture to bed so that humans can become “civilized” or citified, and concentrate on doing things for money that benefit other people rather than spending their days plotting how to teach the Other a lesson.

You think Nikole Hannah-Jones might actually get that? Or is such a notion above her pay-grade? Here, I’ll make it really simple, Nikki. All your politics and government and vengeance and mostly peaceful protesting do not pay.

Maybe some of you wokey girls at the nation’s top book publishers would be interested in getting out a blockbuster title like Politics: Art of the Grudge -- in between getting stressed out over canceling serial sexual harassers like Woody Allen of course: first things first. Here’s another potential title: Vengeance is Mine, Sayeth the Woke.

The reality is that young women really like to display their latest peaceful protesting outfits to their friends on Instagram, and young men like to get out on the streets for a rumble. Because, at heart, we are all primitives that enjoy a bit of hate.

And a National Forgiveness Day would spoil everyone’s fun.

Christopher Chantrill @chrischantrill runs the go-to site on US government finances, usgovernmentspending.com. Also get his American Manifesto and his Road to the Middle Class.

I have an idea. All those lefty heavyweights that have worn blackface in their foolish youth. Let’s forgive them their trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us.

I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that modern woke America believes in vengeance. Vengeance against those eeevil southern slaveholder generals. Vengeance for career black criminals snuffed out by police. Vengeance for women sexually harassed a generation ago in college or high school by today’s headline conservatives.

But vengeance is primitive. It is what humans did when land, territory, was life and death, when a certain Gerald O’Hara said in a movie that cannot be mentioned, “Land. It’s the only thing that lasts.” Vengeance is what humans believed in before the advent of health-science bureaucrats.

Yeah. Reparations is vengeance. And not even against the eeevil slaveowners, but vengeance against people who were peasants in Europe, starving in the potato famine, when America last had slaves.

So, on the week after Juneteeth, the day in 1865 when a Union general proclaimed the freedom of the slaves in Texas, I propose a National Forgiveness Day.

Isn’t it about time we forgave the South for slavery and for Jim Crow? I mean, how much longer are we going to damn the South forever...

To bottomless perdition; there to dwell.
In adamantine chains and penal fire,
Who durst defy the Wokipotent to arms.

With the ruins of all their statues to keep them company?

If you ask me, there is a great need for forgiveness, for many things.

I think it is time to forgive President Wilson for helping impose a Carthaginian peace on Germany in 1919.

I think it is time to forgive FDR for completely flubbing the Great Depression and keeping Americans destitute for the first two terms of his presidency.

I think it is time to forgive Dodd and Frank for setting the U.S. up for the Great Recession with their liar loans and 100 percent mortgages.

I think it is time to forgive liberals for creating systemic racism to enslave blacks in a liberal plantation after 1965.

I think it is time to forgive the Germans for going stark raving mad in 1933.

I think it is time for us deplorables to forgive liberals for oppressing and deploring us for the last 70-odd years.

I think it is time for Jews to forgive the Germans for the Holocaust. Hmm.

I think it is time to forgive Andrew Cuomo for sending NY WuFlu patients to nursing homes to kill the elderly.

I think it is time to forgive the social-moralizing liberal ladies for the hypocrisy of their “Kindness is Everything” yard signs.

I personally want to forgive Simone de Beauvoir for “Chapter XXV: The Independent Woman” in The Second Sex. Silly girl: there is no such thing as an “independent woman.”

And I hereby forgive Nikole “1619 Project” Hannah-Jones for being a silly superficial woman.

You can add your suggestion in the comments.

Now I have a deep educational and philosophical reason for advancing this preposterous notion of National Forgiveness Day. It’s because I want to demonstrate, as far as logic and reason are able, that our glorious national politics, especially during this historic Wokey Reign of Cancel, is about everything except forgiveness.

Indeed, I propose as part of a new general theory of the meaning of life, the universe and everything, that politics is always and everywhere about everything except forgiveness. Because if anyone ever had half a notion to forgive others for their beastliness then we wouldn’t really need politics, except for a National Sharing Day to beat up on cops.

I think that the whole point of cities and police and law courts is to put the vengeance culture to bed so that humans can become “civilized” or citified, and concentrate on doing things for money that benefit other people rather than spending their days plotting how to teach the Other a lesson.

You think Nikole Hannah-Jones might actually get that? Or is such a notion above her pay-grade? Here, I’ll make it really simple, Nikki. All your politics and government and vengeance and mostly peaceful protesting do not pay.

Maybe some of you wokey girls at the nation’s top book publishers would be interested in getting out a blockbuster title like Politics: Art of the Grudge -- in between getting stressed out over canceling serial sexual harassers like Woody Allen of course: first things first. Here’s another potential title: Vengeance is Mine, Sayeth the Woke.

The reality is that young women really like to display their latest peaceful protesting outfits to their friends on Instagram, and young men like to get out on the streets for a rumble. Because, at heart, we are all primitives that enjoy a bit of hate.

And a National Forgiveness Day would spoil everyone’s fun.

Christopher Chantrill @chrischantrill runs the go-to site on US government finances, usgovernmentspending.com. Also get his American Manifesto and his Road to the Middle Class.